As Fred slowly made his way through the piles of
assorted scrap metal and other things better left
unknown, he stepped on something that seemed to grip
onto his leg. "YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUSSSSS
BBBBBAAAADDDDDDSSSSS"! He yelled, and
then shot at his foot. His armour was heavily damaged,
but he was sure he got whatever it was. "Dumb planet",
he thought, "if I could smell, I’d probably be
offended". He then limped across the landscape
continuing his patrol.
Not far away, a Kryptor, serial number # 797601,
slowly crushed his way toward the Core base on a
search and destroy mission. This Kryptor, who had
assaulted many of his superiors in the past, had been
nick named "Blood Donor". He was rather disturbed in
the mind, and anyone who said this to his face ended
up with certain limbs up certain places. The ARM
basically sent him on suicide missions in order to be
rid of him. Somehow, he had always managed to return.
So today, his mission orders were to seek out the Core
Commander and destroy him. The ARM felt that even if
somehow he managed to accomplish this somehow, the
anti-matter would make short work of him. BD (as some
of his fellow Kryptors referred to him as) had a lot
of angry to work out, so before he left base he
stopped to have a word with the PeeWees.
As a PeeWee leg fought for life as it hung out BD’s
mouth, he didn’t even bother to scan the area. He had
been pointed in the right direction, and he needed
Unbeknown to either Kbot, was that they were on a
direct course with each other.
Fred continued to limp slowly across the miles of
scrap, wondering why his foot was hurting, he decided
to rummage through the piles to see what he could see.
He pushed a large pile over, noticing that many of the
brand names were ACME, and listened to the tiny
screams escaping from the pile.
"Hee hee", he chuckled to him self, "I bet I hurt
something just then". As he continued to search
through the junk, his faulty sensors didn’t pick up
the large thing lumbering toward him. They merely told
him weather updates.
BD was now charging toward Core territory, as his
anger built to extreme levels in his mind. "MUST
DESTROY COMMANDER"! He snarled. The piles of garbage
were so high, he felt slightly dwarfed and this made
him even angrier, "ALL SHALL DIE BY MY HAND"! He
seethed, his receptors becoming blinded by the
Fred then received a call from somewhere, "FRED, FRED
COME IN"! Came the voice of a Pyro from somewhere.
"Uh…” he paused, looking around, "Hello? Where are
"YOU IDIOT, I’M OVER THE COMMUNICATIONS"! The Pyro now
Fred looked slightly confused, then nodded his head
smiling and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that".
"LISTEN", said the Pyro, "YOU’RE COMING DEEPER INTO
THE FORTIFIED ZONE, AND WE’VE ALREADY LAID THE NUCLEAR
MINES AROUND THERE".
Fred looked around a second, pausing to respond. "I
don’t see them", said Fred after a moment.
"THEY’RE ON THE GROUND, STUPID"!!! The Pyro yelled in
vain. "JUST WATCH WHERE YOU STEP, OVER AND OUT".
Fred looked confused for a moment, looked directly
down, and began walking around. As he watched
everywhere he stepped, he wondered why his foot looked
The Kryptor now was in full charge, knocking things
over and yelling in rage, "NO ONE SHALL STAND IN MY
WAY!!!!!!! EVERYTHING WILL DIE"!!!!!!!! His scanners
said that there was a Core unit somewhere around here,
but he ignored this. "LET THEM COME"!!!!!! He yelled,
"LET THEM DIE"!!!!
Fred was slowly walking deeper into the fortified
zone, not realizing that the nuclear mines were
increasing in number below his feet. Some slowly came
to life as the giant Krogoth lumbered by.
As Fred nearly hit one, he toppled slightly into a
pile that was actually three times bigger then he. He
was about to comment, when he stepped forward…….
BD lunged forward, and his leg striking the Krogoth’s
directly on, and his momentum sent him flying forward.
He slid for many, many meters, and would have slid
more; if he hadn’t activated about ten mines as he
shuck the ground.
Back at the Core Base, the Pyro monitoring the
fortified zone, almost was sent flying back, as the
monitors went crazy with nuclear blasts. The whole
Core Base and miles of land around shook violently,
even the ARM Base, several thousand clicks away,
registered the shock waves.
"FRED, FRED COME IN"! Yelled the Pyro, "WHAT HAPPENED
There was no response.
Aerial units were launched.
The units had trouble entering the area; the nuclear
levels were higher then they had expected. But they
finally landed, and teams began searching for an
answer to what happened. "What’s going on", bellowed
the Core Commander, "Report"!
"It would appear", said the Pyro almost embarrassed,
"that Fred must have detonated a field of….".
"Sir"! Yelled a Soul Reaver, "We’re finding pieces of
The Core Commander ignored this, "Continue Pyro".
"Well sir", said the Pyro proudly, "that Fred must’ve
lured a raging Kryptor into this mine field".
"Really, has anything left of him been found", said
the Commander blankly, a lone Kryptor wasn’t much
The Pyro looked at the Soul Reaver. After a quick nod,
the Pyro said, "Um, yes sir, but not very much as it
"Then pattern the man back, and continue with your
work", said the Core Commander uninterestingly, "we’re
in a war here people". Then with that, the Core
Commander walked away.
"But sir, you gave orders to never pattern Fred
ever….", the Pyro paused, then added, "never mind
A week later, Fred was back on his feet. A moment
after that, one of those feet were missing.
But who really gives a damn.