line 1) One day timepie went down to his 'pie cave' and met up with his sidekick, igor, then they...

The rest is up to you guys...

METALIKAT
2) looked at eachother, and realized how queer their costumes looked. They then proceded to ...

(This has the potential to get WAYYYY outa control )

DEW_Toasty
3) ...Discuss over some toast their plans for the day which were...

Nospamas
to have a large unmoveable tasty...

Strangely Brown
Robot hamster that they inserted up each others

Nospamas
punts, yes i said punts, a small tubular bazooka like weapon. then they preceeded to shout...

Strangely Brown
Armageddon!. Then they mopped each others brows with a

Nospamas
Thong, taken from toastys underwear draw. then they jumped into the fruit mobile and...

Strangely Brown
Igor shouted Ahh because he landed on the gear stick causing Time pie to be covered in...

Nospamas
Grease, after igors screams caused him to fall into the engine. they finally got themselves together and zoomed out of the garage door..

Strangely Brown
In to the sex shop across the road and Time pie then said to the owner...

Wite
my god! you could hang a coat on that!!!!! they proceeded to.....

Strangely Brown
To join the fun until...

Nospamas
targit arrived, with his..

Wite
pet corgies jumping for his.....

Strangely Brown
Bone. Then they jumped back in the car with there trousers around there...

Nospamas
Gear sticks, (how that worked don't ask me) they finally left the sex shop saying...

Strangely Brown
I feel like I've left a little part of behind at the sex shop. They then made there way to...

klinker
the public toilets where they saw an old man with a long greasy beard who said to them....

DEW_Turret
"Timepie - I have been expecting you. They call me Proffesor Kipling, maker of extraudinarily good pies. I have a mission for you, timepie. A mission that will test your groin - I mean mental powers to the limits. Go into the time-travelling cubical and pull the flush - that will give you the power you seek" So timepie and Igor went into the cubical and pulled the flush, only to hear the old man say...

DEW_Turret
Only to find the rangy b*gger is still following them. Igor quickly hits him over the head with his 'truncheon' and the duo make a quick escape. or they would if they had filled the car with petrol at the last station.

METALIKAT
They then procedded to push the car to the...

DEW_Turret
the nearest crossroads and left the car in the middle of it. They spied the ... Strangely Brown
Nudist’s police station was having its annual sausage fry up so time pie and Igor made there way to the station inside they…

klinker
discussed the shapes of all the sausages. igor said 'god! look at that 1, it looks like a ....

Strangely Brown
A profile of Nospammas!!!. After having a good nibble on the the chief constable's sausage they...

klinker
they then thought that they would try the local delicasey of sausage with....

Strangely Brown
Squirty cream. Then they...

Dew_Eradicator
both wiped away their sticky white mustaches and headed to the nearest gas station....

METALIKAT
...station and took off their pants, tied the legs off at the cuff and filled up their pants with gas. They then.

Dew_Eradicator
they proceded to the cross the road where they left their car. they were now stuck with the problem of how to get the gas into the car....

METALIKAT
which igor promptly solved by sticking his head into his gasoline filled pants, sucking some into his mouth and...

Dew_Eradicator
then he passed it t time pie who...

METALIKAT
accidently swallowed it. Igor started laughing and swallowed his own mouthful. They then both...

klinker
attempted to give the car energy by farting into the tank. However....

DEW_Toasty
...He learned the hard way that farting into a petrol tank charged with static when you have ingested 2 litres of petrol is NOT a good idea. There was a huge explosion and...

METALIKAT
a single car stopped to pick up Igors wallet that he dropped before driving on again (must be from new york...). Timepie then got up and...

Dew_Eradicator
they were both blown over the hedge and into a muck heap. They Poked their heads over the hedge to see a smoking wasted car! Then.....

METALIKAT
Igor stopped, turned to timepie, looked at him thoughtfully for a minute, then said...

Strangely Brown
Monkey x 10²³!. Then they got out of the muck only to find they where in the middle of a mud wrestling competition so they...

DEW_Turret
Decided that it counted at buisness expense -so they decided to stay for some mudfilled excitment...

Strangely Brown
Coverd in mud and with big grins they waved good bye to the young girls and the old man spieing on them with his binoculars then they caught a lift with a...

BLITZ_Molloy
Travelling circus. After much deliberation they decide to be...

Dew_Eradicator
the fire act due to the large volume of gas they keep with them. So They....

METALIKAT
made a bargin with the ring master. If they did 1 show, and lived, then the Ringmaster would take them wherever they needed to go that the circus went. That night, they started their act and...

Dew_Eradicator
there first act was a great success. exept for the part were igor set fire to the big top. Then....

METALIKAT
the ringmaster, being a man of his word, took them wherever they wanted to go, despite having to buy a new tent. They decided to go....

DEW_Turret
as far away from target as possible, if possible somewhere where targit wouldn't even dare to search. They deceided, when they reached baths'r'us that they had made a stupid mess of that gift. After a romantic bath together Timepie and Igor...

Strangely Brown
Realized that they did not need to make the bubbles them self’s in the Jacuzzi. The smell was terrible. Then they…

DEW_Turret
suddenly realised that a fruit pie is missing several necassary bodyparts. Igor pointed out that he was more like a sausage pie...

Strangely Brown
all of a sudden a hungry badger burst into the bath house attracted by time pies sausage they jumped out of the bath and Igor heroically…

DEW_Turret
considered his options. He could A)abuse the badger in several arcane ways or B)run off. Igor decided to take option (c) Eat the badger. After his indigestion wore off he...

Strangely Brown
He broke wind so violently it caused a rip in the space time continuum and they where sucked into

klinker
a black hole. Igor looked at timepie and said......

METALIKAT
"What the hell'd you do now!" Timepie looked over at Igor and said...

Dew_Eradicator
"i caused a pan-dimetonal shift in the space time contium with a value of x=20 to the power of 97. y=x time 3x to the power of TAngent. z=y+x Times 4.1579543 to the power of 42" Igor reply with "Gay???" Then...

METALIKAT
Timepie walked away from igor shaking his head. He turned to him and said "We're lost! Happy now?" Igor thought a moment, took in this new information, then said quietly...

DEW_Turret
"why don't we ask for directions of that man with the beard" "Well well well" proffesor Kipling said "we meet again. I'd like to give you your mission. You must..."

METALIKAT
Figure out how the hell I'm supposed to cut this longass thing." It took a moment before Timepie and Igor figured out he was talking about his beard. They then...

DEW_Turret
began their epic quest for the golden beard cutter (scissors) of LardWorld! They walked through the timetravelling cubicle accompanied by the shouts of Kipling "Watch your backs! Trust no-one! Wrap up warm!"
They left the dimension of sausagegobblers and entered...

METALIKAT
the mens bathroom to discharge once more before they begin their quest. They then...

DEW_Turret
set off through the portal - like a second class B-Movie the weird lights flashed and strobed. Until Kipling realised he'd left his lava lamp plugged in. They stepped out of the portal and into... A shopping Mall!!! Then they realised it was a catalogue. A shopping cataloge. Selling what looked like TORTURE DEVICES!!! Then they read on to find out that it was actually an S&M catalogue in a doctors waiting room. They got up and left through the...

Marquese
womans butt-hole and arrived in what could only be described as soup, brown soup with large floating brown boats in. Igor looked at timepie and said...

DEW_Turret
said "how the hell did we get up here? The only person around was ... Mr ...Kipling They retreated quickly, apologising profusily and left by the door...

Dew_Eradicator
Igor looked at Timepie, and said "I don't get paid enough for this." His words were echoed from across what seemed to be a large room. Timepie looked over to see where the echo came from, only to see...

Marquese
the duo were in a large dome, that had white walls and a strange floor which seemed to be made of some sort of pink egg shell substance. They appeared to be trapped until...