The Ravin'

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I microed, weak and weary,
Over many innate and furious battles of vivid gore--
While I plotted, nearly snapping, suddenly there came a cracking,
As of some nut loudly hacking, hacking into the forum's roar.
"Tis some SCer," I muttered, "hacking at the forum; therefore--
Screamer shall layeth smack once more."

Ah, unfortunately, I remember (all too well) Gray's short temper
And each seperate dying member that lay beaten by the 2x4
Eagerly I wished the final:--vainly I had fought denial
That the work and ceasless toil, by the dedicated BSR
Of the rare and enlightened ruler whom the denizens name BSR
Would finish here forever more.

And the senseless, mad uncertain tweakings of each crazy version
Thrilled me--filled me with lunatic tweakitis never known before
So that now, to fill the meaning of my unstable mental preening
"Tis a TWEAK entreating debate upon the forum floor--
Some crucial tweak entreating debate upon the floor;
Yes! I'll raise Hell! Now, what's in store..."

Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
"M0r0n", said I, "don't make me go and get the 2x4;
'cause the fact is UH was wrapping, 'till you came so rudely yapping,
Calling for tweaks after you got a smacking, smacking by the vets of lore
That I scare couldn't laugh at you!"--here Hanni skillfully primes the door--
Idiots outside; idiots galore.

Out across the idiots peering, long I stood there, defensive, fearing,
Babbling, supporting tweaks no mortal ever dared dream before:
Hark! TAUIP's units are quite broken, while Silencer's bugs are small and token,
And the only word there spoken was the infamous but earned "THUMP!" of yore
This I whispered, and the denizens murmured back the "THUMP!" (It's not Core!)--
Obviously, a crusade was in store.

Back into the Stat Viewer turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard the *THUMP*ing somewhat louder than before
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my WinSOCK lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this unbalance truly explore--
Let mod progress be still a moment and this unbalance explore,--
'Tis the SYs and nothing more."

Upon the fan I flung the ****ter, when with many a flirt and flitter,
In there stepped an irate denizen who's name I'd never heard before.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a moment stopped and played he,
But, with mien of SCer or newbie, set about
his pointless chore--
Flamed and spammed and called UH a bore.

Then the psychotic denizen beguiling my mad frenzy into smiling,
By the countenance of flames and lynch mobs he would incite and then endure.
"Your ass had better be bound for haven, m0r0n" I said, "or you sure are cravin'
One nasty, badass, hand-prepped flayin' for strayin' from the Gen. Dis board--
Whatdahell are you down in the depths of TAU for?!"
Quoth the Denizen, "Tweak some more".

While I thought this one over, ready to give up and call Gray on over,
Though his opinion little experience--little validity bore;
I could not help but ponder about this stupid illogical wanderer,
And for what reason he'd delved into the UBB and targeted the UH for
With such ludicrous goal as "Tweak some more".

But the denizen, listening solely to the voices in his head, spoke only
That one phrase, as if his insanity in that phrase he did outpour.
Nothing further did he stutter; nothing inteligible did he utterr--
'Till I could scarcely more than mutter "Other m0r0ns have been before--
By tomorrow he will face trial, with punishment by 2x4!"
Then the denizen said "Tweak some more".

Startled at the logic broken by such a pointless, stupid token,
"Numbnuts," said I, "what you mutter will just more surely make you done for,
You'll catch hell from seasoned masters who shall unleash flat-out Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster by a Zipper swarm, flank bound-for--
'Till the lamentations of your commander like melancholy melody pour
Tweaks... and tweaks... and Tweaks some more.

But the denizen still beguiling, despite all my antichrist-role, into smiling
Straight I wheeled a padded armchair in front of forum and computer and banner (hardcore);
Then, upon the worn seat sinking, I set myself to thinking
(DRUHgs unto DRUHgs), thinking what this laughable denizen of yore
What this gawdy, ungainly, giggly, thoroughly stoned and oblivious denizen of yore
Meant in toking, then saying "Tweak some more".

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no smackdown yet expressing,
To the denizen whose disturbed words now pinged on bounced off my cynical core,
This and more I sat, while reclining, the entire time divining,
On the mod's tightrope-act balance, that the vets gloated o'er;
But whose tricky tighrope-act balance with the vets gloating o'er
Could be shattered by "Tweak some more".

Then I think the forum grew denser, kept almost civil by the auto-censor,
With denizens sniped at by the idiots at the door.
"*****!" I cried, "OTA has bent the true intent which BSR sent thee
You have tweakitis!--tweakitis and evil schemes to drive BSR our the door!"
Die! DIE! You stupid m0r0ns, and--DON'T SAY IT!"
Quoth the denizen, "Tweak some more."

"Prophetic", said I, "you pitiful fool--I'll tweak your face to shame the GRU!"
Whether Tempest sent you, or whether tempest tossed you here ashore,
I'll kick your ass so hard your head will slam straight through the floor!"
On this forum by ewok monitored, tell me NOW, before I get bored--
Is there--is there god-hood in store for Rhad? Tell me dammit, you lazy whore!
Quoth the denizen, "Tweak some more".

"Shove it!" said I, "stupid m0r0n, keep yer paws out of Uraniun's UberCrack store!
By the time we get this finished, XTA will be going full bore!
BSR HAS FINAL SAY! *Him*, NOT your opinions, as you seem to be thinking...
Hell, from these script-gimmick ideas alone, I'd say you've been drinking!
Or toking some serious UberCrack! What for?!
Quoth the denizen, "Tweak some more".

"THAT'S YOUR VERY LAST FRIGGIN WARNING!", I shrieked, reaching for the Lead Pipe, my fury just forming.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS FORUM! Go back to UDG's 'Post Thumpers here' board!
Unless you've got advice that'll help BSR finish and get back to his life,
Unless you have some strange fix for all this strife,
Then I'll be first in line to kick your ass right out the door!!"
Quoth the denizen "Tweak some more".

And that denizen, never thinking, still is tweaking, still is tweaking
Over some stupid laughable *THUMP*, just to keep the final from going out the door.
And his crazed, baseless screaming sets my very blood to steaming
And my sanity shall return once he's beaten o'er the head with the 2x4--

So he won't try again--to tweak some more!




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