- Weapons Inspection: Part Two - Molloy
And 13 months later here's the conclusion of our 'weapons of mass lag' series. What a cliff hanger!
As the whole TAU Newsletter project has died on its arse I may as well post the comics I did for that as well. They've lost their topicality which leaves them with just their.. whatever it is that they have.
And I promise that updates will be more regular from now on. Every 12 months at least.
- Weapons Inspection - Molloy
I haven't been giving TA and The Ubercrack Shack alot of attention recently but when most of the other TA sites are so dead I think UCS compares very favourably. Speaking of death you guys wouldn't try posting something in the Forum would you? I know there are tons of lurkers out there and Hanni deletes innactive forums mercilessly!
In other news I've been getting interested in pixeling recently and did a few sprites you guys might like: Bert, complete with sexy glow action and a Peewee going postal.
None of this is a proper substitute for some Annihilarity though so I threw one together this morning. It's, like, really topical and stuff.
If you just can't get enough Molloy (quite understandable, just ask my lady friends) then you'll be happy to hear I'm starting a blog called Altered Beast. Thanks to Kirk for the hosting. The site is a bit messy yet and my newspro is screwey but I expect to get the ball rolling shortly.
- Territorial Dispute - Molloy
Well I must be really bored recently because I've got another Annihilarity done this week. It's about multiplayer. We've all been there. We've had the newbie allies who build their base in the wrong spot. We've all cursed and chided them. We've all used their IP numbers to hack into.. well maybe not all of us.
- Belated Update - Molloy
Sorry about the delay. I've been having a busy year. Not to worry though because I've got two new Annihilarity comics. If anybody else wants to join the team to keep the site chugging along in my absence they are welcome. Or you could just join PlanetA newstaff and post about crap 3rd party units the designers can't be bothered to balance and playtest. It's your call.
Gomba tells me he's interested in doing 3d models of Jim and Bert which is a very exciting prospect. If anybody else wants a to give it a go I could give a prize to the winner. I'll put them in the next Annihilarity comic!
Might as well throw in a few quotes. It's Christmas after all..
TA: Kingdoms: First Thoughts
What, only one resource? Less units? Are they out of their minds? TA Columnist BSR says no...
BSR> You're up against the law of TA Inertia, a player who is winning will tend to keep winning, unless acted upon by an outside ally.
Molloy> If you ask Gecko delicately he might help.
SadisticSid> I have dignity. ^_^
Aslan> I'm fat...you're British...I can lose weight...bad luck to you on that count
PeterC> Schnei, the Gecko has never oppressed anyone.
DewMetalikat> remind me to send the IRCops more money...
Gnug615|Working> your last check was late
tanay> i am a CORE fan and any ARM that come my wat nevr live to tell the tale
Storm> Is your spelling system defective?
PeterC> WC, has anyone ever tried to use yoru ass to hide from the rain?
Warchicken> of course
PeterC> So Earth being round is not 100% fact?
Nitrous> maybe 99% or something
Nitrous> imho, the earth is flat
Okram> Now when a n00b asks if there will be a TA 2, instead of saying "No you idiot!" we can say "Yes you idiot!"
Molloy> hows your evil empire going?
Uraniun235> my *kind, benevolent* empire is doing quite well
Uraniun235> research and development is preparing a newer, more potent brand of Ubercrack.
Uraniun235> We're thinking of making it the Ubercrack TI series.
Uraniun235> Alongside that we're planning on releasing low-grade Ubercrack for sale to thrid-world dictatorships and pansies who can't handle their crack.
Uraniun235> That will be dubbed "Ubercrack MX".
Molloy>does Ubercrack really make the internet go faster?
Uraniun235> Yes. Yes it does.
GenghisKhanX> yes, I need bigger, firmer breasts,
Molloy> damn wierdo ICQers.
Molloy> I've got a 40year old male stalker.
- Happy Halloween! - Molloy
If there's one thing that scares the living shit out of me, it's TA 2. God knows what kind of foul, ungodly, twisted, sick, sprite based concoctions those craze asians are building.
Now I'm off to a fancy dress party! ^_^
- Five long Years - Molloy
I haven't been here quite from the start but the four years I've had here in the TA community have been brilliant. Here's a little celebration. RTS gaming hasn't moved on in the last 5 years so, fuck it, I'm going to stick in my rut as I'm enjoying my time here. I've been trying a new drawing style. Let me know how you like it:
- Bang Per Buck - Molloy
I proudly present the latest character addition to the Annihilarity franchise: Harold The Krogoth. He's not lovable and hugable like Fred
the Krogoth but slightly more economically sound.
In other news Screamer has blown his cover. Find him lurking on our very own forum. :P
- War On Terror - Molloy
Molloy> Are Arm the good guys?
Molloy> Should we elivate Arm to hero status so readily?
Pyro-Away> it's common to think of 'em as the good guys
Pyro-Away> even though i'm a die-hard imperial
Molloy> but their terrorists.
DM45|BRB> but from whose point of view??
DM45|BRB> they are the freedom fighters to them
DM45|BRB> they are terrorists to Core
DM45|BRB> once again, everything is relative
Pyro-Away> basically it's divided this way:
Pyro-Away> if you're a pro human bodies, they're heroes
Pyro-Away> if you're pro machine bodies, human minds, they're terrorists
Pyro-Away> you could make a bold political statement
DM45|BRB> TA: Politics
Molloy> TOTAL DIPLOMACY
Molloy> "Can't we just discuss this?"
- Jim and Bert 'Do' Dungeon Siege - Molloy
The most amazing thing happened today! Aslan got up off his arse and did something with Dungeon Siege Universe! Well, actually, he didn't. It's just as dead as it was yesterday, the day before and will be tomorrow. With this in mind I felt compelled to create some Dungeon Siege content. Today Jim and Bert brave the horrors of weak plot, zero NPC interaction, dull hack n' slash, poor framerates and disorganised multiplayer to bring you Annihilarity: Under Siege!
I also redrew all the graphics. How do you like our new logo? You'll have to be a real 3rd Party nerd to get todays index joke.
- Technical Difficulties - Molloy
I wrote out a big elaborate news just now but cackhandedly deleted it so we'll make this one short and sweet. Today we have psychoanalysis in Annihilarity 14, Hanni bashing in Board Wars, commander surfing, parallel parking, UBB destruction, jim and Bert "do" Final Fantasy and Peter gives those newbies a comprehensive welcome notice.
Annihilarity is a year old now so I'll be redesigning Jim and Bert to look a bit slicker. You can expect more comics with community members, but not necessarly SW related. Our forum links should be restored on the main pages. I'll go back through all the old stuff changing links when I'm bored enough. ^_^
- Spammers Win, Forum Updated - Okram
The battle it seems, is finally over. Long and hard the spammers of the forums have fought for a new forum type, one that can support large quantities of postings without going kaput. UBB it was deemed was not able to deal with the large demand requested by the many spammers.
Therfore, Ewok, along with several armed croud control guards, unveiled today the new vB board, with it's large load capacity.
"Oh boy! Oh boy!" anounced a spammer gleefully while he was hopping up and down, "We no longer need to worry about overloading the boards, well at least not for at least a couple more years, but who cares about that? That'll just be a problem for those left with this game after we've moved on to spam another!"
After a long speech, which nobody payed attention to, Ewok cut the html ribbon that was seperating the old board from the new, and the croud attempted to rush in and hapily post away. However the armed guards managed to hold them out, while moderators where quickly shown to their positions. However, after about two minutes, the croud some how managed to plow right over the armed guards, and started gleefully posting away. Without giving the moderators much chance to get set up.
Now, things seemed to have returned to their normal state, and have died down. The excitement was short lived, and the usual spam seems to be flowing at a normal level.
- Overcoming Ubercrack withdrawl symptoms - Okram
Sorry for the inconvinence, but the gov't finally found out about the Ubercrack Shack, a few weeks ago, they sent a large raid at us from ATF Dept. (Alcohal, Tobacco, and Firearms) agents.
After a day long standoff, our tanks decided to open fire on their measily armed troops, however sadly the US decided they where tired of us and called in airstrikes. Luckily most of TAU, and the rest of UCS is held well within a very deep bunker, unfortanetly, the US army has bunker buster bombs the size of a BMW bug, that are capable of causing a large portion of the bunker to collapse.
Seeing that we might not win this on the military front, UCS sent out it's army of lawyers strait into capitol hill. After a large amount of debate, lawsuits, and other mud slinging, president Bush signed a bill the other day legalizing UberCrack as long as all profits are taxed at 35% to gov't. (Luckily, the gov't doesn't know the UCS is a nonprofit orginization)
Now, it's going to take us a while to dig through the collapsed portions of the TAU bunker until we can get the UCS it's self online. However for now you can overcome your Ubercrack withdrawl symptons here on the UCS forums.
Temporary Ubercrack dispensing booths have been set up along the east wall, and your usual UCS wacky news will be here until the site it's self is back online. Sorry for the mess, but enjoy the crack.
- UCS Server Statistics - Molloy
I sent an e-mail to ewok yesterday to find out some startling facts about the Ubercrack Shack website.
Number of abusive e-mails from Izzy: 2.
Number of spelling errors: 72.
Number of grammatical errors: too many.
Number of "OMG! This forum is so dead" threads: 4.
Number of days since Okram was last online: 6
I stashed his corpse in disused forum -18-.
Number of offensive comments towards PlanetA: 16.
Number of times I was offered a position as newsposter there: 3.
9,347 unique IP adresses have been logged.
By my calculations that means only 1 in 7 of you ever comes back you disloyal bastards..
- Game Spy Network News goes Super Nova! - Okram
In a recent and strange turn of events, last Saturday, the GSNN (Game Spy News Network) started receiving strange anomalies. The cause, sources say, came from the location of Planet Annihilation, where a massive new gathering effort had gone way. By the end of the day, large numbers of news posts began causing large pressure build up in the GSNN main servers. Engineers tried quickly to contain the problem, but there efforts where in vain.
As the GSNN clock rolled around midnight, a large flow of data was pouring in from PA, and the resulting catastrophe could be seen for light years around. The pressure inside the GSNN servers caused a huge build up of energy, which began to quickly tear away at the clogs set up by GSNN engineers. The ensuing explosion of news and facts quickly escalated from a nuclear explosion, to a Super Nova catastrophe that engulfed near by UGO news centers.
Further research showed an individual from PA, calling himself Dark Youth was the cause of the horrible accident that cost the lives of millions of red shirts.
In other news, I am here to give an apology to my recent away. I have just finished up my High Schooling, and now am a graduate. However you will not hear from me for a while, as I'm heading on vacation for a few weeks. Hopefully you can get Molloy to post a few bits of news, but that might take a bit of spamming in the UCS forum.
- Infrogames Busts out the lawyers! - Okram
For the first time ever, Lucas Arts is apearing in the United States Federal Court of Copyright law as the defendant, rather than the prosucution. In an odd turn of events, it is Infrogames who are pressing charges.
"Imagine if you will," Stated lead Infrogames attorney William Cofrey, "the fallowing store line: A group of greedy individuals create a gigantic army of robots, in order to take over the galaxy. Theese evil coherts begin using their massive armies of mass produced robots to begin 'influencing' areas around them. In order to counter this huge problem, the good guys create a massive army of clones, to counter the mass produced robot armies. Than in an epic strugle send the at each other. This sounds oddly similar to the Plot of the Infrogames game, Total Annihilation, but is a major plot element of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones."
The defendig sides have yet to make opening arguments. However many believe that it will take a miracal to save Lucas Arts from this rather bad looking case. Infrogames is requesting 25% of all ticket sales, and 10% on all merchandising. UCS legal advisors have informed us that Infrogames is very likely to recieve this payment.
Therefore, with prospected sales of Episode II to be over a hundred million, Infrogames could become the highest grossing computer game corporation.
When asked to comment on his way out of the procedings, George Lucas responded with a lot of 'no comments' and a couple times he said, "But I thought Cavedog was dead!"